well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
