is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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