dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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