Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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