I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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