Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
