I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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