I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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