I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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