I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
