I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
