Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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