I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
