Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
