If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this will be a night to untag.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
