im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I want a musical about memes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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