Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
