Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
