She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
