I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
