what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
