I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm passing your future prison.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
whose parrot is this?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
