Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
