I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
