ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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