I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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