"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
