Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
