That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
