I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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