Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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