So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
