1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
