Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
