Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
