Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize