yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize