btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
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