I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
