I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
