Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
