Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Small penises have feelings too.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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