We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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