i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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