Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
