I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
