I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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