There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
