BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
