Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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