Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
