I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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