I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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