i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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