Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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