This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
