she was so not down for the gang bang
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
