apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
