You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize