my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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