redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
