Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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