Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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